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Post by violetta on Feb 16, 2006 18:45:21 GMT 1
Please,advice!!!How you explain to your neighbour that you have got your own life to live?You can laugh,but that woman actually Russian,just like me and language is no problem!
I dont want to look after baby,i dont want making calls for her and filling forms,i dont want to go to "mothercare" shop and help changing nappies in Mc Donald....but I find hard to say "no "because she will start cry and begging and I cant stand this too.
Does anybody know spells for situation like this?All i found at home - how to get rid of unwanted lovers!
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Post by watershield on Feb 16, 2006 19:40:10 GMT 1
I was in a similar situation when I first moved to where I am now.
I guess the first thing you need to decide, is your neighbor your friend and if not do you want her to be?
If she is a friend or potential friend then you need to let her know that while you like her, little babies get on your nerves and you just don't want to do all those things you mention. If she is a friend, she will understand.
However, it sounds more to me like she is using you (the crying and the begging) because your just a big softy and will give in.
If this is the case, then you need to stand up and say no! I'm sorry I just can't do it today! If she persists, hang up the phone, close the door, walk away!
Don't allow her to make her problem yours.
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Post by lunarose on Feb 17, 2006 2:42:12 GMT 1
I'm just gonna say I'm with Watershield on this. I agree 100%.... plus I need to be taking notes right now. I sometimes get caught up in things I don't want to do for friends because I feel like I'm being selfish if I say "no". Plus the crying and the begging really does sound like she is trying to play on the fact that you will say yes if she does this. I know if I really need help for something, I will simply communicate that my need is urgent... I wouldn't beg. Stand your ground with her, I mean like you said, you need to be living your own life.
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Post by cheshire on Feb 17, 2006 3:11:42 GMT 1
I think they described it pretty well. While it may hurt to tell someone no due to the guilt, you're better off telling her now that you won't tolerate doing favors on a regular basis. If she is your friend, then she is your friend - not someone who uses you for her benefit.
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Post by vermindaspirit on Feb 17, 2006 11:32:44 GMT 1
Greetings Violetta, i too have to agree with all the above...Be strong and stand firm, you are allowed to say No!....
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Post by Goth on Feb 17, 2006 11:38:37 GMT 1
She may be suffering from anxiety/depression and or low self esteem/lack of confidence. Gently suggest that she visits the doctor to see if he can help. Maybe try to get her to join a mother and baby group, where she can meet other people too...this would take the pressure off you. If she flat out refuses to do this, then you've got yourself a psychic vampire. Learn how to shield yourself and stay away from her as much as possible  |
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Post by watershield on Feb 18, 2006 6:49:44 GMT 1
Just so everyone knows, she did respond to me on a PM accepting the advise posted with thanks to all
Thanks every one for joining in ;D
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Post by violetta on Feb 19, 2006 0:03:36 GMT 1
Thank you very much!You all gave me really good advice!Thank you again  |
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